It's the time of year when texts start popping up from ghosts of our Christmas pasts, and visits to your hometown can turn into friendly rekindling with exes to stave off the holiday loneliness. Trust me, I've been there, but it usually only brings regrets when the decorations come down, and you wake up from the holiday haze. The holidays can force the reality of your singleness when everyone around you seems to be coupled up, and movies like Love Actually only rub it in. When you desire a partner, it feels like all you see is happy couples around you, and the same is true if you are in an unhappy relationship. You may only see joyous single people living their best lives, and the pang of jealousy sets in. So, it's essential to be grateful for where you are this holiday season. Give yourself some grace and trust that what's meant for you is in Santa's sleigh.
"Be grateful for where you are this holiday season. Give yourself some grace and trust that what's meant for you is in Santa's sleigh."
It's easy to look at people's cozy holiday photos and think it's better on the other side, but you have to remember that you don't see reality; you see someone's highlight reel. No one has a picture-perfect relationship; they take a lot of work, so if you find yourself single this holiday season, enjoy the opportunity to cherish the time with yourself and spend it however you choose. Treat yourself to something nice, a relaxing day of movies, or indulge in an activity you love and enjoy that you don't have to compromise. Being single is a gift because you get to be selfish. You get to do whatever you want, work on yourself, and enjoy life at your own pace. So resist the urge to get caught up with anyone who reaches out trying to steal your peace, like the grinch. Don't let exes or lonely strangers steal your time so they can have a texting buddy for the holidays. You don't need a pen pal, and you don't need validation from anyone but yourself; however, I understand this time can be challenging for some, so here are some tips on how to thrive as a single this holiday season.
Quit the Reindeer Games
This time of year gives people the audacity to show up into your life out of nowhere with the obligatory Merry Christmas texts. The pang of loneliness brought on by the holidays fueled with eggnog makes its way to your phone. Exes are bored around the Christmas tree watching your insta stories, and it would be so easy to fill your time flirting with someone from your past or finding other singles to mingle with on the apps, but I challenge you not to fall down the chimney on this one. The holidays are a special time, and if you don't have a special someone, instead of filling time with someone insignificant, take a step back this season and get clear on what you want next year. I always say mixed signals will always bring you mixed results, and that goes both ways, not only with the people you are dating but for yourself. Have you sat with yourself lately and decided what you want? Maybe a relationship is a too much commitment because this year is about your career, or perhaps you want to work on healing before you invite someone into your space. Maybe you are ready to find your person, and this is the year. Get clear with yourself, so you aren't playing any more reindeer games.
Give Yourself the Gift of Presence
Among the chaos of the holidays, the end of the year can bring a time for reflection. Another year has come and gone, and sometimes this can bring sadness, worry, and regret. If you feel pressure to settle down or are not progressing as fast as you think, try to release those negative feelings. Your life is an extraordinary journey just for you, so comparing yourself to others will only bring you disappointment. None of us live up to everyone's expectations; we do our best, which is unique to every individual. Instead of allowing anxiety to kick reindeer shit all over your holiday season, be mindful and grateful for where you are. Each season of our life teaches us important lessons, and sometimes we can get a little impatient, but the moments you are living right now deserve your presence, no matter how small or complicated. Cherish the things that you are experiencing and let go of trying to control the future. Enjoy a holiday treat, a glass of wine with a loved one, and this season maybe it's all over zoom, and as much as that sucks, God bless the internet.
Ring in the New Year with Intent
2022 is right around the corner, so find some time between the cookies and milk to think about how you want to show up for yourself in 2022. When we focus on self-improvement, the pressure of "finding the one" fades into the background. Although I think finding love is a great goal, it's not a destination; it's the journey that counts. What can you do for yourself this year that will bring fulfillment, self–love, and happiness to your life? Maybe it's picking up a hobby you've been interested in, finally setting a morning routine, or joining a group to get out of your comfort zone. As each year passes, it becomes more apparent that our time here is finite, and it's up to you to make your life worth living. Set intentions for yourself this year that will ignite passion into your life and go after the things that light you up. Create supportive mantras to begin each day and watch how your life continues to improve. The more intentional you are with your thoughts and actions, the better you will feel. You are a powerful force, and 2022 will bring you everything you put your mind to.
Don't let the holidays make you feel any less remarkable than you are. There is nothing better than not spending all your money on gifts for someone special and buying yourself that expensive bag you've always wanted —cheers to the fabulous you and happy new year.