So you want to start manifesting what you want? In 2021 it's almost impossible to scroll Instagram and not hear about manifesting. When I heard about this concept back in 2015, I thought it was complete horseshit. As someone with OCD, I was a natural pessimist, and it was all too easy to perpetuate that through the narrative I used to explain my situation in life. I like to call it the blame game, and from time to time, we all fall into its trap. We spend so much time blaming our parents, spouses, siblings, kids, bosses, colleagues, or friends for where we are in life instead of taking accountability and seeing the hard truth. We also flat out lie to ourselves because that's easier than doing hard work. We create a narrative that makes us feel better, but it keeps us stuck where we are. If you always have to explain why you are where you are, I advise you to slow down and listen to your words. Whether it's good or bad, you speak things into existence; whatever your narrative is, it is your reality. Looking back, I kept myself in a perpetual state of struggle by saying things like I am broke, fat, single, not smart enough, not good enough, not blank enough. In the end, I was manifesting that into my life. Success can't be wished into the Universe; trust me, that's not what manifesting is. You can't lose weight by praying and stuffing your face with Cheetos or hope for wealth while continuing to work in the same dead-end job. If that were the case, we would all be successful. It's a formula, and part of that formula is believing that you can achieve the things you want and then taking action towards them daily.
So How Does it Work?
Many celebrities believe in the law of attraction Oprah, Jay – Z, JLo, Jim Carrey, Will Smith, Lady Gaga, Connor McGregor, Tony Robbins, and the list goes on. Their success speaks for itself, but had they just accepted the cards they were dealt; they would not be the success stories you see today. Many of them rose from challenging circumstances, and you know they had to believe they were going to make it. No way in hell were they sitting around complaining, blaming, or wishing someone would fix their lives for them. I saw a video clip of Jim Carrey that explained it all; he said that people were trying to manifest but doing it wrong. He said many people sit around praying something will come; he said you must act like it's already here. It goes back to having an unshakable knowing that you will succeed. The Law of Attraction is not a new concept. It dates back to ancient teachings and Buddhism "All that we are is a result of what we have thought."– Buddha. Authors also started sharing more on the concept around the 19th century and have continued to since, but the bigger question is, does science back it up?
"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."– Buddha.
The science described by Forbes.com, "It's believed that we, being part of the infinite and powerful consciousness, can influence matter and fulfill our desires. This revelation is proved by various research studies conducted on prayer, which is a powerful tool for manifestation." So clearly, science backs this up, everything is energy, and we can affect that energy. Have you ever heard you are what you eat? Well, the same goes for manifesting; you attract what you put out into the Universe. Author Rhonda Byrne of The Secret talks about manifesting as focusing your energy on what you DO want. Not what you DON'T want. If you focus on what you DON'T want, you're only going to get more of that. You don't want to be broke; you're going to get hit with a bill. You don't want to be fat, better buy bigger pants. It's not that simple but if everything in life is energy, think about what you are attracting.
Where to Begin
I've shared a lot on my history with self-help, and it was a best friend of mine who was manifesting her dreams that made me stop and give it a try. What did I have to lose? Reading a few books on the subject would open my mind and challenge my views which I believe is always a good thing. A few books I would recommend to newbies are; You are a Badass by Jen Sincero, The Secret by Rhonda Bryne, The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer, and The Subtle Art Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. I used to have particularly negative beliefs about myself and my capabilities. That all changed once I began to understand I was perpetuating my reality. It can be almost impossible to see outside the cage of comfort and habit you've built for yourself, and that's because our survival brain wants us to stay there.
"Comfort is where you find yourself when you aren't growing or changing because let's face it, that's scary shit."
Comfort is where you find yourself when you aren't growing or changing because, let's face it, that's scary shit. We lie to ourselves to keep ourselves safe out of harm's way, making sure we don't experience anything anxiety-producing. Let me tell you; this is no way to progress in your life. If you are in the same place you've been for however long, you are the only person you can blame. Yes, we all have extenuating circumstances that happen, but to build the life of your dreams, you have to challenge yourself and push through all the bull shit. This can be one of the most complex parts of beginning to manifest; to do so, you have to weed through your crap. Some like to call your crap limiting beliefs, your bull shit, belief system, or even just the stories you tell yourself. Usually, these stories involve a lot of blame, blatant lies, and a lack of accountability for your life, but to start manifesting the life you want, that shits got to go. Here is a little activity to get you started. Start with scoring the different areas in your life, one being the worst to ten being exceptionally fulfilled. The areas you're going to review are:
Personal relationships: Score
Personal fulfillment: Score
Once you score each sector, explain why or why you are not where you want to be. Make a list of reasons. Just list everything out and get it on paper and be 100% honest with why you believe you aren't fulfilled in that area. This exercise will give you a road map of where you need to start your manifesting practice.
Challenge Your Thoughts
Once you've seen where you rank yourself, is that the score you want your life to be? Are you happy with a god damned 4? NO. We shouldn't settle for anything less than f*cking 10! So much easier said than done, but now look at your reasons why. Suppose there is blame, avoidance, resistance, lack of accountability in those why's. Truth time, most likely, the reason isn't what you wrote down; it's you. You're not doing everything in your power to improve that area of your life. If you wrote down things like I can't do it; I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not BLANK enough. Those are all lies. How do you know if you haven't tried? So instead of all that bologna you wrote in your why section. It's time to change that narrative. Write out what you're going to do, and go f*cking do it. You are the one who ultimately suffers if you don't rip that story to shreds and create a new one. We tell these stories to ourselves, and they become our reality, so don't listen to a negative track on repeat in your head.
"We tell these stories to ourselves, and they become our reality, so don't listen to a negative track on repeat in your head."
You have to confront it and tell it to f*ck off. One of those narratives for me used to be that I was unlovable. I would cry myself to sleep at night because deep down, I believed it, and it wasn't until I took a hard look at myself and said, no more. I had to change the narrative before I could change my reality. It took me getting honest with myself and owning the behavior that was indeed keeping me single. I had to own it all and decide what my new narrative would be. It was that I deserved a healthy relationship, and I was going to be vulnerable enough to let someone love me. In a matter of a year, I went from what I would have probably ranked a negative zero to a ten, but it starts with YOU, no one else. It can be hard to face the reality that we are keeping ourselves comfortable, but we are. We are doing it consciously and subconsciously. That's why we don't lose weight, break up with the asshole, travel the world, or go after our dreams because it's going to take work to get the things we want, or we can sit by and watch as our lives pass us by.
You Better Work Bitch
Once you have cleaned up your words, the rest of manifesting is actually pretty easy. Set goals, believe that you can achieve them, and take action towards them every f*cking day. I don't mean small, pleasant, achievable goals either I am talking scary AF goals. The ones you are too embarrassed to tell people, like I want to host a daytime talk show like Oprah scary. Write them all down and start doing the work to achieve them, don't focus on how you will get there; the Universe will help with that; start doing. I often think back to the song Work Bitch by Ms. Brittany Spears. It isn't Brittany's lyrics that she is known for, but she speaks pure truth in this song. You want a hot body; you want a Bugatti; you want a Lamborghini, sipping martinis, look hot in a bikini? You better work Bitch. You want to live fancy, live in a big mansion, party in France? YOU BETTER WORK BITCH. You may not want a Bugatti for f*cks sake, but whatever you want, Brittany's advice still applies. You want a loving relationship; you want health and longevity; you want a passionate career; you better work at it every day. That may sound daunting; we all have our days when we phone it in; that's ok; we are human. We have to get ourselves back on track from time to time and keep pushing towards that goal.
"Life can be challenging; it's important to remember not to make it even harder for yourself by believing you're not good enough. You must have that unshakeable knowing that you will be successful in anything you do. And you will."
Keep in mind that the Universe will continue to deliver challenges until you learn whatever lesson it's trying to teach you, so it won't be easy to achieve your dreams. However, you will become more a more enlightened human through every hardship. Goals will shift and change over the years, but keep working towards them and improving yourself by reading, journaling, meditating, therapy, investing in yourself and your relationships. In that case, you will feel fulfillment in all areas of your life. Life can be challenging; it's important to remember not to make it even harder for yourself by believing you're not good enough. You must have that unshakeable knowing that you will be successful in anything you do. And you will. For those skeptics out there, if you fail, there will be a reason why. Something better is coming for you, and once it does, you'll have that a-hah moment. Trust the Universe and, more importantly, trust yourself.